Brasileiro

October 7, 2006. This is not today's date. This is the date that Sergio Mendes will be playing Toronto and today I bought some great tickets. In case you don't know, his music "blends the urban cultures of Brazil and America, hip hop culture, samba and bossa nova." If you've never listened to this music before, it's time to broaden your musical tastes. Give it a listen.

If you have nothing nice to say...

Man, words hurt.

I won't say what. I won't say where. Not even why or who I hurt. But it just sucks when you say things without thinking and they're interpreted MUCH differently than what you initially intended.

If the world was full of women, and armies were all women, you could win a war just by the words you say. Say a few mean words, make the whole army cry, and the war is over! I guess that's why people say "let's talk about this" rather than get involved in a fight or something. Because words hurt so much more. You can inflict so much pain.

In this case, I'm an extremely deadly assassin, and I didn't even know it.

The mouth is equivalent to a loaded weapon...watch out!

/end rant

The cup is half full.

So lately, I've gotten into a somewhat heated message board argument over the merits of the Toronto Raptors selecting Andrea Bargnani with the first overall pick in the 2006 NBA draft. The person I've been arguing against seems to be a pessimist, since nothing the Raptors are doing appear to show any promise. I, on the other hand, am the optimist. With this pick, the Raptors are laying the foundation for an entertaining and competitive team. You can't help but look forward to the upcoming season. Also, Bryan Colangelo, with his moves, has suddenly given the Raptors and International identity that matches the city they're located in.

In any case, this optimist vs. pessimist thing got me thinking about a joke I heard way back when I was in elementary school. How I remember that, I have no idea, but I'd like to share it:

"A family had twin boys whose only resemblance to each other was their looks. If one felt it was too hot, the other thought it was too cold. If one said the TV was too loud, the other claimed the volume needed to be turned up. Opposite in every way, one was an eternal optimist, the other a doom and gloom pessimist.

"Just to see what would happen, on the twins' birthday their father loaded the pessimist's room with every imaginable toy and game. The optimist's room he loaded with horse manure. That night the father passed by the pessimist's room and found him sitting amid his new gifts crying bitterly. "Why are you crying?" the father asked. "Because my friends will be jealous, I'll have to read all these instructions before I can do anything with this stuff, I'll constantly need batteries, and my toys will eventually get broken." answered the pessimist twin. Passing the optimist twin's room, the father found him dancing for joy in the pile of manure. "What are you so happy about?" he asked. To which his optimist twin replied, 'There's got to be a pony in here somewhere!'"

Now, I may be an optimist, but not nearly to the level of the optimist twin. If someone gave me a pile of horse shit for Christmas, I'd give them the classic WTF look and then who knows what I'd do?!

However, when you have a positive outlook on things, things always do look a lot better.

"Now all restaurants are Taco Bell"

Imagine those famous words that Lt. Lenina Huxley told John Spartan in Demolition Man were true. Imagine that all restaurants were now Taco Bell. What do you think would happen?

• Perhaps global warming would be accelerated due to massive global farting.

• Perhaps there wouldn't be any threat of bird flu in the world, since everyone would be eating tacos, burritos, quasedillas and supreme fries; instead of eating bird flu inducing animals.

• Perhaps my Mexican food cravings would go away. *

Imagine that.

*Note: I did in fact go to Taco Bell for dinner today after several years of avoidance, and I must admit, it was quite delicious.

It's a bird, It's a plane...

WRONG! It's a speeding minivan trying to overtake you in the fast lane.

I don't know what it is. Perhaps it's the frustration of having so many kids; the frustration of having to settle for a minivan instead of a sports car; the frustration of having to drive the kids to school or soccer practice.

People who drive minivans seem to be the most consistently aggressive drivers on the road. There may be people in other vehicles that like to swerve in and out of traffic, change lanes without signalling, cut you off, or even tailgate you to the point they're literally bumper to bumper; but the next time this happens, take a closer look and you'll notice it's probably a minivan.

Minivans = Instant road rage

Raja Bell is my hero

I should be sleeping right now but I need to write about this. I've just witnessed what might possibly be one of the greatest basketball games I've ever seen. A double overtime - 2OT! - thriller between the Phoenix Suns and Los Angeles Clippers, with Phoenix coming out on top 125-118. There were big leads, there were ties. There were stupid plays, there were amazing plays. There were laughs, there were scares. It had everything you could ever ask for and it was great basketball. Thanks to my hero - saviour! - Raja Bell, the Western Conference Finals will now be Dallas vs. Phoenix. ;) Awesome!

NO! The customer isn't always right.

For most of my working life, I've been involved with some aspect of customer service. Whether it's been selling electronics, providing answers to general inquiries, whatever. I've been there and done that.

One thing that most people (and by people, I mean customers) do not understand is that it's not necessary to raise your voice and whine like a little bitch to get a problem resolved or express your displeasure. There are other ways to get your point across without creating a scene in front of a restaurant full of young professionals. It's embarassing when someone from your party wanders off to different stores in the mall, out of range of the electronic pager and out of range from the hostess, and starts cussing out the hostess for failing to do everything in their power to notify them a table is available when they realize their spot on the waiting list is gone. Chill. Explain your situation calmly. Make a compromise. When you scream and shout like a maniac, people don't understand what on earth you're saying and it makes you look like a fool.

Take a chill pill. Whatever. It's okay to complain, but it's better to look classy than to look like a fool over something so petty. Always take the high road. Do you really want saliva in your food?

/end rant

Move b*tch, get out the way!

One of the first rules when learning how to drive is always yield to pedestrians. That's a fair rule to follow when you're at a stop sign or at a traffic light. I've got no complaints.

But when you're driving around in a parking lot looking for a place to park and people are walking in the center of the lane taking their motherF-ing time, this rule is a major irritant. People don't have any courtesy these days when it comes to getting out of the way, or even walking along the side of the lane in the parking lot. Sometimes I feel like driving right through. If people need to learn how to drive, people should also learn how to walk becuase people definitely do not know how to do that properly these days.

NBA Playoffs

The NBA playoffs are here.

I don't recall games being so entertaining in a long time.

Kobe is being Kobe. A game saving jumper followed by a game winning jumper to send the Suns on the brink of elimination. That just sucks. Phoenix had the game won...twice! Although seeing a match-up between the Clippers and the Lakers in the 2nd round would be awesome, Phoenix has been one of my favourite teams to watch all season. So watching them lose the way they did just hurts. I guess it's time to jump on some bandwagons now: Sacramento Kings and Los Angeles Clippers.

Sacramento. Artest is my man. Through all the suspensions, trade demands, and other silliness, I've stuck by him by drafting him to my fantasy teams. The guy is a basketball player period. Both offensively and defensively. He can post up. He can shoot the three. He can knock you around and he can start the fast break through his defence. Now he's single-handedly (well, almost) helping the Kings give the Spurs a major scare. If they keep playing how they're playing right now, they're going to cause a major upset by knocking off the Spurs.

LA Clippers. Such talent up and down their line-up. Cassell. Mobley. Brand. Kaman. Livingston. Maggette. Radmanovic. Denver has no chance to beat them. They have no passion and they look like they're just going through the motions of getting eliminated. Carmelo has been disappointing. He's been so clutch in the regular season, but now he's a bust. The playoffs I guess show off the best and worst in players, and right now for 'Melo it's the latter.

The playoffs are just beginning...